Inspirations from me, myself and Ihdinaa...

How I wish he's mine...

2007-04-06T21:12:00.000+08:00

How I Wish He's Mine
Every Bit Of Him

From Top To Toe
Inside & Out

Physically
Emotionally

For Me To Shower My Love Unto
Till I've Nothing Else To Offer

I've Never Stop Loving
&I'll Never EVER Halt

A poem by the seaside...

2007-02-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

He's the one for me.
There can never be others.
He looked so divine.
And looking at him makes me cry.

It hurt too much...

I've never doubt my feelings.
Only that time,
I thought I was in LOVE...
But it was only an infatuation...

Why is it that we are thrown in this situation???

A situation in which both of us doesn't have the courage to actually pursue a conversation much more a realtionship???

haiz...

I fear rejection...
if ever i were to make the first move...

Oh Allah!
If You have listened to her aching heart...
You would know what her heart wishes...
It wishes for him to see her in good light...
It wishes for him to Love her for what she is...
It wishes for him to be hers...
Ameen...

Please...
Make Him mine, Forever...

Why? & Leeches

2007-01-31T12:44:00.000+08:00

Why should I Love You
when
I'm supposed to Hate You
For what you have done to me?

As I think of all the reasons
that's linked to this phenomenon,
I can think of only one reasons why...

It's because ...

I need someone to Love.
It's as simple as that.

Memories of him is like Leeches to my brain...
What's Love and Leeches got to do with each other?
Well...
Leeches tends to stick themself to you
and suck out your blood...
So...
Love's stuck to your brain...
And it sucks not your blood...
But your LIFE...

Why is is that I Love You So?
Cause You the First to make me feel Whole...

Come to me (and other short collection)

2007-01-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

If you see me walking alone,
Don't be afraid to come to me,
I may be in need of your accompaniment.

And if I'm not in need of anyone,
Just stay near,
I may need you soon enough.

Dream of me today.
Dream of me tomorrow.
Dream of me FOREVER.
Miss Ya, Love Ya

Wish you were here with me.
Together with me.
In Love with me.
Right by my side.
It will make it all worthwhile.
Love you..

A Letter That's Not Meant To Be Posted.

2007-01-20T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Abg,

Why is it that I cannot stop loving you?
Why is it that I cannot stop thinking of you?
Why is it that EVERYTIME I have nothing to do...
...I dreamt of You...
...& think of all We've been through?

I don't know how to stop Loving you.
I don't know how to stop Missing you.
I don't know how to stop myself from Thinking of you.

The only thing that I know I'm able to do...
...is to continue Loving you...
...till the Almighty take away this very life...
...that have loved you.

Too many months have been missed.
Too many days have been wasted.
Too little time to start anew.

I heart you.
I miss you.
I love you.

Sincerely and with much Love,
Ihdinaa

hate him for now and love him later?

2007-01-18T20:48:00.000+08:00

Should I Hate Him For Now
And
Love Him Later?

Or

Should I Love Him Today
And
Love Him Till Death Stop Me From Loving?

Dreamt of you

2007-01-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you today
It's the first time
It may be the last
And in that dream
You weren't mine

Your face was a blur
But
Somehow
I knew it was YOU

I felt nervous when I saw you
But when you only say
HI
BYE
I became angry
But the anger was kept

Within Me
I know I was a wreck
A Minx Who Was Jinxed!
A NAUGHTY GIRL CURSED!
I'm devastated
I'm Dead...
(*_*)

No Innocent Bystander

2006-12-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'm no innocent bystander...
I don't stand by and watch...
I make an effort to act...

And as I act...
I think of Consequences...
And I stopped...

As I stopped...
I think again...
And I don't care...

I don't care of consequences...
That may..
Will...
And..
Would Happen...

What I know is...
I've already make an effort...
And I should continue with it...

And Nothing...
Gonna Stopped Me...
And I mean nothing...

No Innocent Bystander Here...
Only Someone Who Act...

Siti Ihdinaa in ♥?

2006-11-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

Siti Ihdinaa
Thinks she

♥

Somebody so much
She's dying inside...
How can she tell it's really ♥ ?
Does ♥ makes one smile...
Even if there's no reason for the smile?
Does ♥ makes one wonder...
How life will be with that somebody?
&
Does ♥ makes one laugh...
At lame jokes heard or stupid antics seen?
If it does...
Then...
Siti Ihdinaa is really in ♥ ...

Not Your Average Girl

2006-11-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

I'm Not Your Average Girl
If I Am
You Won't Know Me

But If I'm That Unique
Why Am I Suffering
So Much
That I Hold No More Emotion

Moodiness Have Overcome Me
Anger Has Taken Over
Sadness Have Rule
And
Happiness Have Run Away?

Life Have Never Bring Me
To This Point
I'm Always Taking It Easy
And I Vow Never To Take Things Too Hard
But Why Is It That The Events That's Taken Part
In My Life
Right Now
Is Making Me So Hard Headed???

Haiz
Nothing Is What It Should Be
I Hate This Feeling

GOD Help Me Please...

A Plea for Help...

2006-11-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

Ive never been so lonely...
Yet...
So surrounded.
This had happened before but not like this.
I felt so rejected and so alone...
Yet...
So accepted and so protected.
I have cried because of him once...
But i vow not too anymore.
I wasted a few tears that time...
But I promised never to waste any because of this

He doesn't deserve any of the tears i shed...
And i hope i can forget him...
And soon...
As i can't handle it anymore.

Dear GOD,
Please help me overcome this stage in my life.
Get me out of this sorrow as i want to reserve it for the one I care about.
I want to continue living and i don't deserve this depression.
But...
Since you wrote it in my fate,
I will accept as i know something good will come out of it...
In the end...

Why?

2006-11-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

Why am I thinking of ~~HIM~~,

When I don't knw whether HE thinking of ME?

I fret the day he will tell me...

You are wasting your time girl!

I think of You no more than how I think of others.

That day will be the start to the end of my life...

And I need to endure it...

FOREVER

Dousing LOVE?

2006-10-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

Love is like fire,

a burst of flame that's ignite,

when one tries to douse it off,

one gets burn as the flame glows more.

Love is also a forever thing,

Nobody can pull it apart,

If one ever tries,

One gets thrown off,

As the Love bounce back,

Together, Forever...

My Heart

2006-10-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

Di sini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia ku denganmu

Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Di sini surga kita

Bila kita mencintai yang lain
Mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah
Sayangku akan hilang...

If we love somebody
Could we be this strong
I will fight to win
Our love will conquer all
I wouldn't risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart
My heart...my heart...

me- this songs captures a moment in my heart that won't be forgotten with time...

Don't try to deceive me...

2006-10-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

a girl of naive sensitivity,
with the world awaiting her coming,
she stumbled upon the rocky world,
eyes of the unknown bore unto her...

she looked around,
fear displayed,
anxiety gripped,
her vulnerable self,
finding a saviour,
to rescue her from the world.

then she saw a guy,
all knight in shining armor,
and she held up her hand,
and he claimed her as his,
she lived in happiness,
waiting for him to claim her truly...

then one day he deceived her,
rejecting her,
placing her back among the unknown...

Flailing her arms,
in an attempt to save herself,
another handsome being,
came riding to her aid,
but when he hold out his hand to her,
she retracted,
with a yearning rhythm,
to her soulful voice,
she voice out her fears,
none others spoke off before,

"Don't Ever Try To Deceive Me,
I'm Not Able To Take It...
Once Someone Tried,
And I Broke Down,
But I Endured The Pain,
Just So To Give Others A Chance...
Here I Am,
Giving You A Chance,
The Only Thing I Want,
Is You...
Not To Deceive Me,
And Make Me The Happiest Girl Alive..."

He looked at her,
and she realised he meant well...
he will not mistreat her,
never to hurt her,
again...

copyright: Siti Ihdinaa

Ceased from someone's mind

2006-10-11T18:41:00.000+08:00

When One Thinks Of Someone Too Deeply,

One Seems To Lose All The Sense Of Life.

And When One Seems To Lose All The Sense Of Life,

One Suffers Too Much To Even Care.

And When One Suffers Too Much To Care,

One Dies, A Long, Painful, Emotional Death,

And When One Dies, A Long, Painful, Emotional Death,

One Ceased To Exist In That Someone's Mind.

edited by Sarita

The Roads Of Life

2006-10-03T10:10:00.000+08:00

Life is not a straight road,

Nor is it an uninterrupted route,

It's a winding path.

Sometimes it winds simply.

Other times,

it's twisted confusingly,

that we never bother to find the right junction...

It is in problem solving.

When it's simple and uncomplicated,

solve it fast...

because...

When it turns perplexing,

You tend to make more mistakes...

You tend to make harsh decision...

Remember to take the simple winding path...

So as not to forget...

To make look for the right junction...

i'm not hurt... not anymore...

2006-10-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

i may be one who will be angered by ur thoughtlessness...
not anymore...
i feel like i've change...
maybe u are not the one for me...
cause i know...
if i'm to face someone i love...
life will be of more meaning...
my life will blossom again...
and i will hurt again if ignored...
that's why i know u are not for me...
that's why i closed this heart of mine...
to u...
thank u...
thank u again...

a young life...

2006-09-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

a young life..
taken by the almighty..
never get to enjoy the pleasure of marriage..
never get to enjoy the delight of parenting..
unable to prolonged his love to Allah S.W.T. ..
unable to prolonged his love for his parents..
unable to provide for them..
but the only positive things here is..
the weight of all your sins..
are lesser..
a faster retribution..
and a faster paying of all your sins...
May Allah S.W.T bless your soul...
and all who have pass on...
and to those who's still alive..
God bless you..
whoever Your God may be...

who's HIM to you?

2006-09-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

Guy: Who's ~~HIM~~ to you?
Why is he so special?
Girl: Even I don't know ~~HIM~~much...
I only know I Love ~~HIM~~...
Guy: Why are you wasting your time...
Loving ~~HIM~~ when you don't even know?
Girl: Even my heart are crying out...
Even my soul is suffering...
I've never been so involved...
and this memory of ~~HIM~~ is what push me on...

Guy and Girl

2006-09-22T19:28:00.000+08:00

Guy: When I see you with your friends,
Your face is bright and bubbly,
But
When I come near to you,
You close up
All shut and quiet
Why my love, did you act this way?
Girl: Firstly, I'm not your love,
And I'm not acting,
This is the way I am,
And
I always will be
You still don't know me
As my friends did
Guy: Tell me Love,
Have You ever been hurt?
Girl: I've never been hurt before,
Cause none ever known me well
Never once someone approaches me
Never once I felt the feelings
Others "LOVE" So Perfect?
Guy: Then why did you close up,
Then why did you seal?
When I'm the first to approach you,
When I have the feelings,
You were speaking off?
Girl: You don't know me much,
Not one ever do,
I'm not the kind of person,
You ever felt is true
I'm not up to your standard,
Nor to others around,
You'll never know what hit you
As you reach the ground
Guy: What if you are wrong?
What if I Love You?
Girl: I'll never believe it's true,
As I'll never deem it possible...

initiating contact and ignoring it!

2006-09-13T08:59:00.000+08:00

y do u initiate contact
when u don't even get on with it?
y do u start all this
when u don't acknowledge my effort at continuing?!
i'm angry at you for doing this to me
BUT
i'm angry at myself for being so desperate!
Desperate for acknowledgement
By You!
Damn It! I'm no more than a passing joke
For You!
i hate you!
BUT
I Hate Myself More...

Jason Mraz ~ Life Is Wonderful

2006-09-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

(Me-- Love it! You should sing to it!)

a belated teacher's day message...

2006-09-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

You are appreciated!

Thank You Teacher

For The Knowledge You Give

Thank You Teacher

For The Learning You Instill

In Each One Of Us

Thank You Teacher

For Everything That You Have Done

Don't You worry Teacher

You Are Not Forgotten

And We Are Sorry Teacher

For Not Doing Our Best

To Please You Teacher

Terribly Sorry

Happy Teacher's Day Teacher

Even Though It's Belated

Happy Teacher's Day Teacher

And Many Happy Teaching Years Ahead

You Are Appreciated Teacher

Ms. Jessica Leong!

Loving again was tough!

2006-08-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

Love is a universal language,
A language with no communication needed.
A language where many learned,
Not through attending classes,
Not through attending tuitions,
but through attending the processes of...
LIFE...

Love when found...
Will be bless with...
Happiness and Joy...
But will also be cursed by...
Sorrow and Jelousy...

So, When love is LOST,
Feelings of grief will conquer our frail heart,
Leaving no place for others...
but the memories of the one we love...

In the weeks to come,
from the lost love,
There will be no room for others,
to perch on our heart,
as it already contain to much distress and regret.

But,
A lost Love is not the end...
Cause,
Our Creator don't want us to suffer,
So He gave us a new person to Love...
Only,
It depends on Us...
to find that new Love...

When, finally, we found that love,
We may not notice it at first,
but feelings that is once lost,
may come back...
and...
Will come back...
It depends on our determination,
and our grit,
to actually make the new Love happen...

How valuable that new Love will be,
also depends on Us..
We are the one who rate the valuability of our own Love...
Not through others...
and so...
remember,
Loving again is tough when you had once lost Love,
But once you find the New Love...
Appreciate that New Love..
and make it happen..
Cause...
they are very valuable...

Loving again is tough...
but only when you deny that Love...

copyright Siti Ihdinaa

ihdinaa medley

2006-08-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

ihdinaa medley...
a mixture of love and hate...
a concoction of elation and desolation...
a fusion of inclusion and isolation...

Ihdinaa medley...
this is me...

Copyright Siti Ihdinaa

an observer who aches..

2006-08-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

i'm "nobody" but an observer...

i observe...

then i ache...

and when i ache...

i cry...

but none saw my tears...

cause they are deep inside...

i'm still young...

and i'm missing lots...

but i know...

it won't be long...

to feel the the ache dissolve...

and the longing disappear...

and after all that happen...

i will be "somebody"...

and i will no longer ache...

the next time i observe...

emotionally exhausted..

2006-07-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

i felt that he hate me so..

now i'm hating myself for all..

only now do i realise that all that i went through is for nothing..

i felt like such a fool!

i'm feeling so empty right now..

"Look at me!" i shouted..

"Please.."

"Look at me once and i won't ask for anything else.."

i think i should stopped coming to these events..

it's breaking my heart..

i'm crying inside..

so no one could see my tears..

so others don't feel sorry for me..

i should say sorry to my heart..

for breaking it to pieces..

asking it for forgiveness of a lifetime..

"Spare me the pain!" It'll say..

"i'm not able to take it no more..

spare me please.."

so now i'm emotionally exhausted..

drained out..

but none of my tears will be seen..

even though they are fighting to get out..

even though i'm emotionally drained...

hating u...

2006-07-23T00:35:00.001+08:00

i hate u not because of yesterday's mistake...
i hate u not because of tomorrow's blunder...
but...
i hate u because of today's error...

i hate u not because of yesterday's slip...
i hate u not because of tomorrow's blunder...
but...
i hate u because of today's blooper...

you are never who i thought u were...
you are not the one i considered mine...
you look at me but never did u ask...
"Am I really for YOU?!"

i tried to tell u...
i tried to inform...
i tried to convey...
but...
to no avail...

remember...

i hate you not because of yesterday's lapse...
i hate you not because of tomorrow's gaffe...
but...
i hate YOU because of today's muddle...

BooHooWooHooBooHoo

2006-07-13T12:52:00.000+08:00

he's injured!
oh my...
i can't stand to think of him injured...
why i didn't go and see his match???
i feel so sad!
this mean that he will not be at the finals!
on the other hand...
AMEEN will be going to the finals!
Yeah!
My Bro Will Be The Next PASAK Kid to go National TEAM!
WooHoo!
but still...
he will not go to the finals!
when can i see him again???
i do hope its soon...
cause...
just...
because...

so so happy <05.06.06>

2006-06-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy...

want to know y?

I'm gonna see him again!

Finally!

After months!

Even if i were to see only a glimpse of him...

Oh my!

HEAVEN!

How I wish he knows of this obsession...

it's been too long...

hmmm...

How I long to see him again...

You only have t whisper his name...

and my heart will flower like nobody's business!

hehe...

Really hope to get his picture...

So i can see him everyday!

So gatal eh Nana nie...

haha...

I JUST CAN'T WAIT!

i'm never without u...

2006-05-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

i'm never without you...
through night and day...
through happy and sad...

i'm never without you...
though life seems to tear us apart...

i'm never without you...
even though i'm busy...
even though you're busy...
even if we are very busy...

LIFE will never be the same without u...
For I'm here because of YOU...

Thank You Mama for all you've done...
Thank You...
For...
I'm never without you...

copyright: Siti Ihdinaa

hmmm? is life fair?

2006-04-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

is life fair?
a friend ask...
hmmm?
truth to be told...
i don't know...
depends... maybe...
on what choice u make...
but must remember one thing...
ALLAH S.W.T. is always fair to all...
BUT... y is everything never favour to me?
he asked...
hmmm?
i don't know...
maybe HE want to test you...
and see how you handle that test...
i know... he said...
BUT... i don't know y HIS tests is so hard to handle?
hmmm...
i don't know...
maybe HE want you to change before you can handle all...
remember this...
ALLAH S.W.T. always give his followers tests...
that they themselves can handle...
if you aren't able to handle it yourself...
ask for help...
oh... he said...
SO... i need to have patience?
as in "patience pays"?
hmmm...
i think so...
Patience pays...
and that what matters...
remember this...
if you have been patient all these while...
then don't start to fret...
cause...
if you fret...
then all your patience will go to waste...
oh... he said
THEN... ok...
i will not fret...
PATIENCE PAYS...
so remember guys....
Patience pays...

copyright: Siti Ihdinaa

y i seem to not have a life...

2006-04-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

you might wonder y i seem to not have a life...
let me tell you...
GOD loves his subject so much that he says to HIMSELF...
IF ALL MY SUBJECT HAVE SOMEONE TO LOVE THEM...
THEN... WHO WILL I LOVE?
I LOVE ALL BUT I WANT TO REALLY MAKE SOMEONE SPECIAL...
he thinks it over and say...
I THINK I WILL TAKE THIS GIRL...
SHE IS SPECIAL AND UNIQUE...
I WILL LOVE HER TRULY...
ONE DAY WHEN SHE'S READY...
I WILL LET HER GO BUT I STILL WILL LOVE HER LIKE I LOVE ALL...
so that is why i don't have a life...
my life is for God and will forever be...
even when i finally have a life...
i will teach my family to love HIM too...
InsyAllah...
to all you singles out there...
GOD have singled you out to make you special
He want to make you his and wait till you are ready then let u go...
Don't be depressed as to y u are alone...
u are not, as God love u forever and forever will...
remember this and u will be happy!

copyright: Siti Ihdinaa

Inspirations...

2006-04-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

This blog site is to post my latest inspirations from my own self... My everyday encounter with the outside world and with my internal woes make this inspirations come to life... do enjoy all these and hopefully you can comment on it... If you wish to use any of my poems posted here... please just put my blog add underneath my creation... With all undue love and affections i signed off...